“Be the girl who just went for it.” ~ unknown
This quote really speaks to me right now…
…and before getting into reading this
I want you to know that I’m not looking
for sympathy, or pity or anything like that.
For me, today, this is a release. It will, hopefully,
allow me to move forward…
So much stuff is going through my head right now.
A new beginning
The beginning of something new
As many of you know, I quit my job back in October – haven’t “worked” since! My last day was supposed to be the 31st of October, but my last day ended up being the 23rd. Because some of my training expired, they wouldn’t let me work. Yeah, it was a shock!
I was working as an in home aid to seniors, helping them take care of daily needs…shower, exercise, errands, medicine reminders, that sort of thing. One day in March (2019), one of my clients laid into me, telling me I needed to basically be more like her. She was a nurse, and wanted me to be more like her…. dress the way she wanted me to dress, change my mannerisms… I left there that day in tears, called the office and told them they needed to find someone else to take my place “after tomorrow”. I’d go back for one more day, but that was it.
It was at that point that I decided that this “job” wasn’t really for me. I tried to stick it out, hoping my feelings would change. But as time went by, well, I started getting sick. Physically sick… And it was only happening when I tried to pick up new clients… I just couldn’t do it. So I stopped taking on new clients.
Everything was fine for a while, as I managed to get through the summer. I started blogging in my free time, getting back out into nature as often as I could and getting my son out and about as well. I also picked up the camera, really for the first time in a long time. But then it started getting to the point that I was getting physically sick even with my normal clients. So I put my two weeks in…
For the two years I was working full time as an aid, my son stayed home… as I wasn’t working regular hours or normal hours at that. And being a single parent… My work day could start as early as 6 am and I might not finish my day til 6 or 7 at night, five or six days a week. How do I do anything with my son with hours like that? I didn’t even have a life! And I was barely making ends meet.
That leads me to the here and now, as they say. I’ve pretty much decided that I’m working from home from now on. Or at least giving it a try. I work every once in a while with one of my clients I used to work with at my “job” doing some office work for her. I don’t think she’ll be upset if I tell you she is an author, having published one book On Blockade about her grandfather. And she is just about finished with her second book. (Did I mention she’s in her nineties?!?) I’ve helped her with the second book, but now I mostly do office work. She gives me inspiration to write my own books, my own stories… and also helped me to realize that I needed to be myself, and not what everyone else wanted me to be – including my boyfriend (he’s another story for another day, but for now we’ll just say that things are ok between us!).
That’s all my parents wanted of me (to be me), so I am really, truly, getting back to me! How can you/I really be anything else? If you’re not doing what you were “made to do”, how can you be happy?
I’ve gone on job interviews (not lately), but realized that working at a gas station wasn’t where I needed to be. How is that really any better than where I was? It’s not…
This here, right now, is where I need to be. One day at a time, I’m figuring it out… I’m going for it. I was made to be creative, that is my gift to “you”. I know it in my gut, and I’ve learned over the years to listen to my gut.
One day at a time, that’s all I can do for now.
Tomorrow is a new day!
Tomorrow will be a great day!
anything is possible!
~ HCMorris ~
“And suddenly you just know
it’s time to start something new
and trust the magic of beginnings”
~ unknown ~
National Baked Alaska Day
National Get Up Day
National Serpent Day
National Texas Day
National Freedom Day
Hope you have a great day, night or evening,
where ever you may be!!
Thanks for stopping by!!
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*as you may have noticed, I haven’t linked any of my photos to anything, except the last three, which is my normal. I probably will later, but not right now…
Have an exceptional time – what ever it may be!
"create...& live twice"
I make photographs and poems to please myself (and share them to please you).
I speak my heart out.
Authentic musings of the mind
living in the vibe of my emotions
menjelajah dunia seni tanpa meninggalkan sains
Until I know this sure uncertainty, I'll entertain the offered fallacy.
Moments captured worth a thousand words
Amy Medina Photography
doing a thing of what I want
Diary Of A Born Again Black Woman
get up, stand up for your rights!
Here I am to share my experiences with you, let's explore it together
That's knocking my mind right now
En esos momentos donde fotografiando “paramos” el tiempo, busco expresar mi ilusión por este lenguaje, mi deseo es que ellas hablen por mí.
Att vara annorlunda/att inte passa in i samhällets ramar